Vows

In 13-15 months time, I will be making some very important vows.  The kinds of vows that are unbreakable, unshakeable.  I will be vowing to merge my life with that of another.  To make his wants, needs, and desires as important as my own.  To be his friend, his lover, his partner.

I can't wait.  In many ways, we've already made these promises.  We know these things, and feel them in our hearts.  But there is something so fantastically important about saying those vows in front of witnesses.  Knowing that there is accountability there.

Before I make that particular set of vows though, there is another set of vows I feel compelled to make.  Vows to myself.  And I want all of you to act as my witnesses.  To keep me accountable for these promises I make to myself.

Dearest self,
Today I vow to treat us with the greatest love, kindness, and respect that I can muster.
I am so blessed to have a life to live, and I vow to protect that sacred life by making healthy choices, not making reckless decisions, and reaching out for help in times of need.
I vow to always remember that we are together for the long haul... and that no higher purpose is served by doubt, negativity, or condemnation.  There will be good, there will be bad.  But through it all, I vow to remain true to who I am, and to never back down from the challenges presented to me.  I vow to always strive to be the best version of myself that is possible.  And in this, self, we will conquer.

I have always loved when people say that "divorce is not an option".  I love the commitment to constant betterment that this implies.  It makes me wonder how we can divorce ourselves from having that same kind of relationship within ourselves.  It's hard work.  But it is so worth it to be able to look in the mirror everyday, and to find love and acceptance looking back.