Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Dear babies

So, my friends, family, and co-workers know this about me, and now you all will too.  We know that right now is not the time to have babies.  But for the last year or so, I have really wanted a baby.  I want to be pregnant, and I want to grow a pretty, perfect little baby.  A started talking about how we would raise our kids 3 months into us dating.  Apparently he was sure I was the mother of his children before he even knew he loved me.

...That looks way worse in writing than it really is.  Wow.

Anyways, there are some things I want to tell my future kiddos.  You know, the things I am sure I will forget to tell them someday, but that right now I desperately want them to know.  So what better thing than to share them with you too???

Dear future baby girl:  

Your daddy and I have been dreaming about you for a long time.  He has so been looking forward to making you his little princess.  I have been looking forward to sewing you princess dresses, playing dolls, and having tea parties.  But even if you never enjoy those things, and you'd rather skin your knees and get muddy, you will always be the world's most beautiful little girl.  You are absolutely loved and adored by your daddy and I.

As the years go on, we know you will test limits and make mistakes.  We love you anyways.  You will hurt our feelings and break our hearts.  We will love you anyways.  You will disappoint us, you will disappoint yourself.  But our love for you will never fade.  As much as you are a part of us, we are a part of you, and we could never stop loving something that we created.

Being a woman is not easy.  There is so much pressure to be thin, to be pretty, to say and do the right things at the right time.  Don't succumb to the pressure just because others tell you it is right.  Listen to your heart and trust your instincts.  Even if they aren't 100% true, you will know that the decision you made was yours and yours alone.

I love you so much already, and you aren't even a realized dream yet.  I cant wait to get to know you, and see the amazing person you become.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Future Baby Boy,

When I picture what our future family will look like, I see you front and center in pictures, with a big cheesy grin.  I see you and your dad building things.  I see you curling up in my lap while I read you a story.  And my heart melts.  I didn't always see a baby boy in the picture when I thought about my future family, mostly because I'm a girlie girl, and always related well with little girls.  But as I've gotten older, I find myself dreaming of you.  When I see pictures of your cousin Robert, or when I see your cousin Devin, I know just how amazing it will be for you to grow up with these two as role models.  And I can see a little bit of what you will look like, what you might be, in them.

I don't know if you will love sports, and it doesn't really matter.  The boys on both sides of the family don't seem to be big sports buffs.  If you love sports, we will support you always.  If not, you can stay in and learn to love reading with the rest of us.  I know daddy would love to talk books with you.

I expect that you and I will cause trouble together.  You'll probably wreck my scooter at a young age, and I'll probably tell your daddy that I did it.  You'll sneak a cookie, and I'll have a hard time not breaking down and giving you another one while I ruffle your hair.  After all, if I catch you sneaking a cookie while I'm sneaking a cookie, can I be that mad?  Mostly though, I look forward to watching you grow into a man who I am so unbelievably proud of.  I hope your daddy and I tell you that every day.  I hope that you can see the way your daddy treats me, and emulate that when you find a nice girl to date.  But don't rush into that too soon.  You're my special little guy.

I remember that when one of my best friends was pregnant with her little guy, she told me that her mom said it was best to have little boys, because "girls have  tendency to hurt their mothers' feelings".  I hope her mom was right when she assured my friend that boys are less likely to make their mom sad.  To me, you are my sunshine on a cloudy day, little boy.  For that, and so much more, I love you always.

Love,
Your momma

Dear Future adopted baby of unknown gender:

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to adopt a child, or be a foster parent.  You are the manifestation of a life-long dream.  I'm crying as I write this, because I know that the first time I hold you will be so incredibly special.  I don't know who you are, or where we will find you.  But know that your daddy and I are waiting for you, and actively seeking you.  That you are as much a part of us as your siblings are.

I can't imagine some of the things that you will face growing up.  I truly hope that your dad and I can provide a safe space, where you never feel unloved or insecure.  I pray you will never wonder if anybody could ever love a child as much as we love you.  I want you to understand how special you are now and always.

I look forward to seeking your heritage with you, and sharing your life with your birth mother and father, if they so choose.  I look forward to nurturing an unshakeable bond with you.  To traveling with you.  To sharing an incredible family with you.  The relationship I share with you will be night and day to the relationships I share with your siblings.  And I pray that you never resent that.  Each of you is equally important to me.  You will never mean less to me than them, simply because I didn't carry you in my belly and get insufferable cravings while I grew you.  If it makes you feel any better, I am sure the adoption process will be longer than 9 months, and far more difficult on your dad and I.  But you are worth it.  And I am so proud we share the same name.

Love,
Your mother by choice

So, what I want to know:  Did you write letters to your children before they were born?  Are you childless like us, thinking about all of the things that you need them to know?  What would you tell your future or present children if you could write them a letter?

7 comments:

  1. this is so great kristen! your letters are adorable. i think i should write a letter to sherman. :) and my future kids as well ...

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  2. Well...you know I'm not on the baby-crazy-train but this is a sweet post. I enjoyed reading it. =)

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  3. Kristen - OMG what do I say. I've loved you since the day Ammon first brought you home to meet me. You are the ideal woman to be my daughter-in-law, no daughter, and mother of my grandchildren one day. I'm so proud of you! I love you!

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  4. i am currently still childless.

    but i would say, "you are one lucky baby. because you got 2 parents who love you so very much. now take that love and love the world."

    woa. that was weird to write. so, so weird.

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  5. I want you as my MOMMY!!!
    Don't tell anyone, but I have a lot of starts to letters to my kiddos. I have written a blog post to my girl. But I think I'd like to make my blog into a book for them to share - because ultimately, my blog is kinda a very long letter to them and to my future children...{sh! I'm hoping for two more...just need to inform the hubby about it - lol}

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  6. My blog is for my son. To show him all the things his mother loved, my funny stories and it his own little keep sake. Not all posts are about him, but he can tell his own children one day their grandmother was a psycho that loved lipgloss, Hunter boots, telling ridiculous stories and was full of useless knowledge. I loved this post Kristen.

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  7. Aw, I LOVE this idea! Pretty sure I'll be copying it from you. So cute! = )

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