Really now...

**WARNING:  This is a post about feminine hygiene.  If this stuff grosses you out, come back tomorrow.**

I was in Target the other day buying a little (okay a lot) of this and that.  What girl does not love spending her evening wasting time at Target?  When I saw this.  There are no words for what I feel about this.  It's tremendously appalling to me.  See for yourself:

Uh-huh.  "Radiant" tampons.  According to the commercials, they provide you with the most discreet period ever.  Okay... back this train up. Discreet and radiant are not two halves of the same whole.  When I think of my hygiene products, these two things do not compute.  Most likely, I'm thinking about where the back-up to the back-up chocolate is at work.  Not how a tampon that prides itself for being the height of discretion is simultaneously radiant.  In fact, all I can think of is that I would expect these to light me up from the inside like some anatomically correct night light.  And that isn't part of my game plan.

I know we all talk about how the commercials are the biggest crock EVER.  But really, let's talk about packaging and branding for a minute.  They put all of this money and time into making this stuff "cute", and making the packaging attractive, when in reality... you're trying to make sure nobody sees ANYTHING when you're in the break room at work trying to grab your supplies before you run as fast as you can to the bathroom, where the previous "supplies" are discarded with as little care as a used tissue.  Why in the world should I care about packaging???

So no, Tampax.  I will not be trying your "Radiant" tampons.  Despite the fact that I pride myself on being Radiant, I look for that to come from my sparkling personality, not a lit-from-within vagina.  Better luck next time, stop hiring men to do the branding.  Maybe then you'll get my business.