At work yesterday, someone told me that they thought that an idea I had was stupid. It really hurt my feelings. Not because I thought the idea was particularly brilliant, but because they actually used the word stupid. I stewed for a long time about that, about how I felt. Why I felt that way. If I should confront this person about the way they phrased their dislike of my idea.
I eventually decided that I should let it go. Not because I want to be passive, but because I realized I have probably said things to this co-worker that were equally damaging without even thinking about it. That she was trying to express her most honest opinion, and it wasn't meant to insult my intelligence.
If every time I was about to say something potentially damaging I stopped, thought, and said the same thing in a nicer way, how would things turn out? Could I avoid more conflicts? Or would people take this as a form of weakness?
As a kid, it is hard to really understand how important the golden rule is. As we get older, I think the value in this grows. There are so many times when I could be better at this. When I need to be better at this. It's never easy, but it does make life more enjoyable on the whole.
My husband and I have had the debate of which is better: being bluntly honest OR being "nice" all the time and ending up somewhat two-faced. I usually tend to be blunt and come across as a bitch, but I like to hear the truth! You're totally right though - being honest is not worth crushing someone. Sorry your feelings were hurt :(
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