I find myself sometimes wary of being me. I am an odd, odd bird sometimes. I ping-pong between being wildly outgoing and social, and being a hermit whose only interest is the current book they're reading. I'm obsessed with my cat. My boss has told me that my wardrobe reminds her of a teacher's wardrobe. I like things that are obviously hand-made. I give myself insomnia from worrying. I'm not a big fan of crowded places. In the summer I'm happiest in hippie skirts twirling around the garden picking lettuce and tomatoes. I love fancy dresses and heels. I like to eat dinner leftovers for breakfast. I love that I am the youngest person in my water aerobics class by a long shot. Like I said, odd bird.
But what is really so wrong with that? Over the years I have come to value the people in my life who are most unlike me. I love the fresh perspective they bring to my world. The way they see everything I see, but maybe I have to tilt my frame of reference 10 degrees to the right to understand why they see something that way. Sometimes, I never understand, and that's ok too.
I hold back a lot of my real beliefs and opinions. I don't want to offend people. I don't want people to have a lower opinion of me. I don't want to stick my neck out there and let them see what I'm really all about. And in that way, I'm not being me. It shouldn't matter so much what someone else might think. If I value others for how they differ from me, shouldn't I expect the same in return? The freedom to be myself has always existed, so long as I am brave enough to be myself. There is nothing wrong with who I am, and I should be proud of it. Crazy cat lady and all!
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