Tuesday, June 12, 2012


This refers to the grades I expect to achieve in school.

This refers to my blood type.

This also refers to my personality type.  That's right guys and gals... I'm not type-A... I'm type A+.  As in I'm painfully high strung.  So high strung you could strum me like a guitar string.  It's not something I'm particularly proud of, either.  Who wants to be known as the girl who has to control EVERYTHING?

But that's me.  I always have a plan.  I always have a way that I need for my life to go.  When it doesn't follow that particular trajectory, I tend to come apart at the seams.  This means that while I'm A+ on everything else, my attitude can really suck.

I want you all to know that I try to be okay with things when they change suddenly, or the plan is not followed.  It is a constant effort on my part to be more "go with the flow", and less fighting upstream just so that I get what I want.  I tried it with the fact that A was not going to be home over the weekend, and our trip to the mountains was not going to happen.  I worked all weekend to look at the bright side and not be mopey.  But by Monday, I felt awful.  I kept getting headaches, and my mood was deplorable.  Until I talked about it.  I word vomited about how upset I was that the plan didn't work, and how I was angry that my plan for a great long weekend did not see fruition.

Please note, I'm not blaming anyone.  I'm the one that bought A's plane ticket, so clearly I wanted him to be there.  I'm just mad that something I had been looking forward to came to such an unfortunate end.  And until I acknowledged how much that upset me, I continued to feel physical ick.

I really don't know what to do.  I don't want to be a Debbie downer when things go my way.  But when I don't come right out and express my disappointment, I end up with even bigger issues.  I feel like this is one of those no-win situations.

What would you do in this situation?  I would love for someone to give me some input.


  1. I have the same problem! I have this insane need to control everything. If something doesn't go according to plan when I've scheduled it all out, I tend to lose it. Thankfully, I have a boyfriend who is not a planner. He always goes with the flow. Sometimes it can make me a little mad, but it mostly helps me. He keeps me in check. Releasing control is definitely hard, but at the end of the day, I know that I can't control it all, so I might as well just let it go. Not sure if this helped at all, but that's my take on it :) have a fabulous day!

  2. Hmm...I have a similar problem. I don't feel like I have to control everything, but I do get EXTREMELY disappointed when things don't pan out as wonderfully as I had imagined them. And when I say "disappointed," I mean that I cry like a big baby and it usually starts a fight. I wish I had advice for you because it would mean having advice for myself at a time when I need that advice more than anything...

    I'll just keep us both in my prayers. That's all I know to do...wait it out. His plans are always better than my plans, anyway.

  3. I'm sorry...I can't help you. I'm a mean biotch when I don't get my way. But I'm here for you...how about venting to me instead of A?
    Just a thought.

  4. Life is too short to waste it on anger. But I also know and feel the disappointment. He will be back soon and then you will wonder what all the fuss was over. It will be okay!

  5. Bottling it up doesn't really help. But then again, unloading it on people we love doesn't help either. I try to tell my hubs what's going on b/c if I don't, he doesn't know why I'm mad and acting all--you know what. But I have recently been trying to express it in a way that has more self-control than I used to have. You know, talking through it in a rational way, instead of yelling. :)


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