Thursday, January 31, 2013

A letter to an old friend

Dear Carbohydrates,


Wow, can you believe that we have been separated since January 2nd?  It's felt like forever for me too.  I know that you're eager to get back together.  After all, my rear end and midsection are outstanding places to hang out in the winter months.



However, I hope you won't be mad when I tell you that I still can't see you.  I wish I could, but this is kind of a toxin relationship we have.  I know that you give, Carbs, but when the giving is extra cushion and belly bloat, I'm just not sure that I want your gifts.  I have to think about my wedding dress, and my wedding photos.  I can't be looking 4 months pregnant, just because you and I had a lovely evening on the couch.



So I'm begging you, pleading, actually, that you stop with the offers of love.  I get that you taste good, and that you make me happy.  Our relationship is well documented.  I know how we feel about each other.  My love for you will never fade, but I'm a selfish woman who wants to look hot.  I know that deep down you understand that about me.  I mean, I'm also the selfish woman who hogs her desserts.  It goes both ways, Carbs, towards the good and the bad.



Have no fear, though:  come June 22, you can bet your bottom dollar that you and I are going to have a few fantastic moments together.  I hope I just don't get too enthusiastic about you when Ammon starts feeding me that cake.  It's a family moment that will be documented forever, so make sure you're on your best behavior.

Sugar-free will never be as good as you are...

10 comments:

  1. those pancakes are making me drool.

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  2. bahahahaha. =) You can do it! Cue the music from "Rocky"....

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  3. This is hilarious. Oh my gosh.

    "I can't be looking 4 months pregnant, just because you and I had a lovely evening on the couch." <--- I died.

    I don't know how you do it. I could give up sugar, but not carbs.

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  4. You can totally do it! Oh, sugar, such a wiley wench.

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  5. Lovely post and blog! I'm your newest follower :) Would you mind checking out our blog & following back via GFC and Bloglovin'? Let me know xo

    sixthtractate.blogspot.com

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  6. Keep it up... you're doing so good! Although come June 22nd you can have a slurpee.

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  7. You are hilarious! haha
    Love your posts!
    That wedding cake is going to taste so great!

    <3alyssa

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I love comments! Please let me know how you feel, and make sure I have a way to get back with you, so we can be friends :-)