Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Just say the first thing

After a lot of thought, deliberation, and having not blogged for 3 of the last 4 days, I have decided that today we'll play word association.  I have a lot of things to say, but very few good ways to express my thoughts and feelings right now.  So let's give it a whirl, shall we?

Blogging:  Conflicted.  I know that the things I am conflicted about are normal... when to blog, how much to blog, should I grow the blog, should I let the blog do its own thing, am I even worthy of having this space?  All questions that tumble through my head when I think about that word. 

I do a lot of that comparison stuff when I think about my blog.  I see the people who started after I did who have 900+ followers.  I see that there are bloggers who make almost as much money with part-time blogging as they do a their full-time job.  That isn't necessarily what I want.  To tell the truth, I don't know what I want.  This blog has had an identity crisis since day one.

Money:  Cringe.  We are doing things to change our situation, but they are slow going.  It's hard when two people are trying to make it on an income equivalent to 50% of the area median income for their size household.  This isn't to say that we want your pity, it's just really hard.  I am counting down the days until Ammon is working full time, and we can actually put together a plan that will move us in the direction of a brighter tomorrow.

Diet:  Frustrated.  I have done a great job of sticking with my diet since January 2nd, and have seen few results.  It's the homeostasis thing that my body does.  The "no, I'm good" reflex whenever I try to lose weight.  But I'm not going to give up.  I'm not going to give in.  I will work hard, and that hard work is going to pay off.


People:  Exhausting.  I am an introverted extrovert.  I don't mind being around people, so long as I get a good amount of me time in there too.  Lately, the scales have been unfairly weighted towards higher than average human interaction.  I would really love to go crawl into a cave for 3 days.  It would help me pretend to like people on a more regular basis.

And I think we're good.  There are more word associations I could add, but I'm desperately trying to not crave ice cream right now, and that's a pretty pressing concern for me.  What would your word association look like right now?

8 comments:

  1. My blog identity went from 1. journal about Landon and me to 2. get all the followers to 3. hey... I could make money off this to 4. meh....

    I'm happy where my blog is at and the friends I've made. and that is what it has turned into for me. A way to make awesome friends. But I don't want to follow people because they follow me. I want genuine relationships here. Which is why my following has come to a screeching halt. haha

    and I need to start a diet.
    I'm just poor and eating healthy costs a lot.
    I mean, I'm not eating straight crap, a lot of it is good for me, but there may be some oreos in there too...

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  2. I am 100% with you on "people = exhausting." I was postulating about writing an entire post about how exhausted I am with people. God bless my loving friends, because they have offered every form of friendliness and occupy-Kimness for the last two weeks. But I am so flipping exhausted. Saying "yes" to something every single day makes me feel like running off into a cave for 3 days too. Unforch, if I join you in that cave, I'll be a sobbing rut eating lots of ice cream, so I may need to be in a cave down the street, for your sake.

    All in all, that was a rambly comment.

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  3. You started blogging after I did and already have more than twice my followers! :) You're doing fine, sweets. Keep it up! I hear ya about people - I'm a super-introvert.

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  4. I feel the same about blogging and people. How you doing for a Friday chat??? I'm free and could use a good girlfriend date.

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  5. I feel like every blogger is in a HUGE rut right now! Maybe it's the new year, but something is in the water. I totally feel you..

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  6. Lord. I feel like I could have written this. Izzy and I are struggling with money right now. He has some debt and his job is just lame right now. So he feels worn down, which stresses me out, but I don't make a lot so it's not like I can help, you know? Anyway, I feel you. I'm sure a lot of people understand at least 1, if not every single thing you've written here.

    Things will look up. I know that sounds lame, but they will.

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  7. I so agree about the blogging. I briefly let myself get super carried away about numbers and linkups and sponsors and "growing." No more. It's a new year. I want to cultivate the friendships I've made and just write what my heart desires! I personally love your blog and that it has an "identity crisis" because that just means you have a lot of really interesting things to say, and you're not labeling yourself as a "fashion blogger" or "foodie blogger" or whatever. Labels are not my bag, baby. haha. Sorry, this is super long and rambling. xo

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  8. You know how I feel about the blogging thing, and apparently you and I are not alone! My blog has gone through so many stages, and at this point I'm kind of at the mindset where if I blog, I blog and if I don't, I don't.

    Ahhh money. It's such a pain. I think it's good to have this "poor" stage, though - you know? Helps us to grow closer together with our significant others. You never know how hard a marriage or relationship can be until you've had to eat pasta or rice for every meal, or until you can't afford to go to McDonald's for a date night. I think Mike and I have become so much closer in the times we've had those money struggles, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

    Now that I've written a novel, I'll leave you.

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