Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Just say the first thing

After a lot of thought, deliberation, and having not blogged for 3 of the last 4 days, I have decided that today we'll play word association.  I have a lot of things to say, but very few good ways to express my thoughts and feelings right now.  So let's give it a whirl, shall we?

Blogging:  Conflicted.  I know that the things I am conflicted about are normal... when to blog, how much to blog, should I grow the blog, should I let the blog do its own thing, am I even worthy of having this space?  All questions that tumble through my head when I think about that word. 

I do a lot of that comparison stuff when I think about my blog.  I see the people who started after I did who have 900+ followers.  I see that there are bloggers who make almost as much money with part-time blogging as they do a their full-time job.  That isn't necessarily what I want.  To tell the truth, I don't know what I want.  This blog has had an identity crisis since day one.

Money:  Cringe.  We are doing things to change our situation, but they are slow going.  It's hard when two people are trying to make it on an income equivalent to 50% of the area median income for their size household.  This isn't to say that we want your pity, it's just really hard.  I am counting down the days until Ammon is working full time, and we can actually put together a plan that will move us in the direction of a brighter tomorrow.

Diet:  Frustrated.  I have done a great job of sticking with my diet since January 2nd, and have seen few results.  It's the homeostasis thing that my body does.  The "no, I'm good" reflex whenever I try to lose weight.  But I'm not going to give up.  I'm not going to give in.  I will work hard, and that hard work is going to pay off.

People:  Exhausting.  I am an introverted extrovert.  I don't mind being around people, so long as I get a good amount of me time in there too.  Lately, the scales have been unfairly weighted towards higher than average human interaction.  I would really love to go crawl into a cave for 3 days.  It would help me pretend to like people on a more regular basis.

And I think we're good.  There are more word associations I could add, but I'm desperately trying to not crave ice cream right now, and that's a pretty pressing concern for me.  What would your word association look like right now?


  1. My blog identity went from 1. journal about Landon and me to 2. get all the followers to 3. hey... I could make money off this to 4. meh....

    I'm happy where my blog is at and the friends I've made. and that is what it has turned into for me. A way to make awesome friends. But I don't want to follow people because they follow me. I want genuine relationships here. Which is why my following has come to a screeching halt. haha

    and I need to start a diet.
    I'm just poor and eating healthy costs a lot.
    I mean, I'm not eating straight crap, a lot of it is good for me, but there may be some oreos in there too...

  2. I am 100% with you on "people = exhausting." I was postulating about writing an entire post about how exhausted I am with people. God bless my loving friends, because they have offered every form of friendliness and occupy-Kimness for the last two weeks. But I am so flipping exhausted. Saying "yes" to something every single day makes me feel like running off into a cave for 3 days too. Unforch, if I join you in that cave, I'll be a sobbing rut eating lots of ice cream, so I may need to be in a cave down the street, for your sake.

    All in all, that was a rambly comment.

  3. You started blogging after I did and already have more than twice my followers! :) You're doing fine, sweets. Keep it up! I hear ya about people - I'm a super-introvert.

  4. I feel the same about blogging and people. How you doing for a Friday chat??? I'm free and could use a good girlfriend date.

  5. I feel like every blogger is in a HUGE rut right now! Maybe it's the new year, but something is in the water. I totally feel you..

  6. Lord. I feel like I could have written this. Izzy and I are struggling with money right now. He has some debt and his job is just lame right now. So he feels worn down, which stresses me out, but I don't make a lot so it's not like I can help, you know? Anyway, I feel you. I'm sure a lot of people understand at least 1, if not every single thing you've written here.

    Things will look up. I know that sounds lame, but they will.

  7. I so agree about the blogging. I briefly let myself get super carried away about numbers and linkups and sponsors and "growing." No more. It's a new year. I want to cultivate the friendships I've made and just write what my heart desires! I personally love your blog and that it has an "identity crisis" because that just means you have a lot of really interesting things to say, and you're not labeling yourself as a "fashion blogger" or "foodie blogger" or whatever. Labels are not my bag, baby. haha. Sorry, this is super long and rambling. xo

  8. You know how I feel about the blogging thing, and apparently you and I are not alone! My blog has gone through so many stages, and at this point I'm kind of at the mindset where if I blog, I blog and if I don't, I don't.

    Ahhh money. It's such a pain. I think it's good to have this "poor" stage, though - you know? Helps us to grow closer together with our significant others. You never know how hard a marriage or relationship can be until you've had to eat pasta or rice for every meal, or until you can't afford to go to McDonald's for a date night. I think Mike and I have become so much closer in the times we've had those money struggles, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

    Now that I've written a novel, I'll leave you.


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