Wednesday, May 22, 2013

We do not negotiate

This story is brought to you by the letter "A".

A few nights ago, I went to bed before Ammon did.  This is a really common occurrence in our household, as I have a life to live during the day, and he has important internet surfing to keep him occupied until 2am.

I was absolutely exhausted, and as I fell asleep that night, I snuggled up to one of Ammon's 2 pillows, which happened to be in the dead center of the bed.  To me, this is fair game for several reasons:

1) I bought all of the pillows, so I can use whichever one I dang well want
2) Ammon steals both of my pillows on a regular basis, and claims they are "better" than his, because they are mine
3) Again, the pillow was in the middle of the bed, clearly neutral territory.

Apparently, Ammon did not see things my way when he came to bed, because a few hours later, I feel the pillow being forcibly ripped away!  Never mind that he could have used my pillow instead... the pillow he always wants.  Oh no, he had to disrupt my sweet sleep, just so that he could be more comfortable.

The next day, I asked if he had realized what he had done.  His response?  "You were hogging my pillow.  I wanted it back."

"Couldn't you have cuddled with me, and we could have shared it?  Or you could have used mine?"

"I tried cuddling with you, and I didn't like it.  And I didn't want your pillow, I wanted mine."

Well, okay then.  Somebody clearly blew off the life-alteringly important lessons of sharing in Preschool.  We were talking about the pillow again last night as I went to bed:

"Will you fix the covers?  You have been stealing them at night"

"You have no room to talk, you pillow thief!"

"I did not steal it, it was in the middle of the bed.  And you forcibly ripped it away!"

"I'm just like the US:  We do not negotiate with terrorists.  I was recovering a hostage."

At this point, I dissolved into laughter.  And hooted and hollered about being named a kidnapping terrorist.  Because really, this is the point that most of our ridiculous conversations come to; a moment when one of us says something so completely out there that the other one can no longer make a rebuttal because they are laughing so hard.

Well played, Ammon.  Well played.


  1. Haha this is funny! My boyfriend and I will just share the pillows...but he tends to steal blankets.

  2. LOL! In our house, I'm the pillow thief (seriously - I get six pillows and Mike gets one) and Mike takes all the blankets.

  3. lol I love this! we don't get into too many arguments over blanket/pillow stealing in our house, probably because the dog is always the one stealing both!

    - Val @

  4. "I tried cuddling with you, and I didn't like it. And I didn't want your pillow, I wanted mine."

    That line made me laugh pretty hard! Michael says that I steal the whole bed and hog all the covers. My response is like yours... I bought the bed, the pillows, and the sheets. I can do what I want with them. Besides, the couch is comfy.... he can sleep there. =)

  5. IC is a complicated fellow. He doesn't like to sleep on the same side of the bed every night so we have to swap sides every night. It's a whole thing. But for awhile he had a nice fancy pillow and I had a cheapo one that he hated. So then we also had to swap pillows. We're pretty good at not stealing the blankets though.

  6. You guys are too cute :)

    I steal the covers AND pillows all the time.

    XO Lourdes

  7. I would have demanded ransom and wrote a note for a drop off point.


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