Thursday, November 15, 2012

Who enjoys a good ole' train wreck?

Seriously people, this is by far my most awkward vlog ever.  Mostly because I get very shifty-eyed where talking about feelings.  And I try to make awkward jokes to make myself feel less deep and emotional.

I was, in fact, going to re-record this.  Ammon told me that I should post it, that it "wasn't that bad".  Ringing endorsement if I ever heard one.  But, since I'm about to marry the guy, I'm taking his advice and posting the vlog as it is.  So please don't un-follow me, just be angry with Ammon.

Click here for the link to a post about what I actually do believe, regardless of the title you put on a religion.  Or don't.  You can choose.

And if you're wondering about the "need for certainty", then by golly, watch the TED talk I posted yesterday.  It's even funny, especially the part where Tony Robbins high fives Al Gore, and then blames Al for getting him off topic.  Hilarious.

So, here's the part where I welcome your thoughts, reactions, feelings, etc.  You can even tell me things like "you really need to stop doing these vlogs", or "I don't like it when you get all deep and emotional", or "how awkward was it when you stared your cat in the eye and lost all thought???"  All of these things are acceptable to say, and many more.  So pick your prose, and put it below.

Have a lovely day, lovelies.


  1. I wish I could give you a big hug! I consider myself a christian. I was raised baptist. John is catholic. We occasionally go to a catholic church. For me I practice on my own. Meaning I have a study Bible that I really love. I read the scriptures and then I read the interpretation at the bottom. It works for me. I would love to find a church that John and I both agree on. But I don't see that happening anytime soon. I also really love listening to sermons online from a church in Lexington. It is non denominational and the pastor puts everything into words you can understand. I wish you the best on your journey!

  2. Oh dear, I felt like I was watching myself on the screen - my last year was very similar to your year now! I was in a new job, as was IC, we were planning a wedding, Work was really stressful, I was a full on roller coaster.

    I definitely am on a quest for certainty and when uncertainty is in my face I become a very sad mess. For me, often times just recognising what is causing this bout of The Sad is enough to hop me out of it. I'm upset because there is a change at work, and I can't possibly understand/comprehend what will come out of that or I'm upset because I haven't slept well in 6 days.

  3. putting this on my to do list of things to watch when I get home!

  4. listen girl, you're a badass.

    to be so bold as to post something like this, I never would.

    I too crave the simple things you do.. the reassurance. oh how my heart shakes when I don't have it.

    and religion.

    the future.


    it's all very heavy things. I commend you for posting this, raw, honest, real.. most never would. I don't think I ever could.

  5. Wait... they can take away federal financial aid?

    And you know... there might be chemistry jobs in lincoln. Lol okay I'll stop talking about Lincoln. I'm just lonely pants over here.

    And dude. Let's talk wedding. What do you still need to plan? What do you need help with? Anything? Do you guys have invitations made? If you're planning on doing the more contemporary/postcard kind, I can design them for you, and give you the name of the place where I got all of mine printed for a STEAL. Also... I have extra envelopes. Hundreds. They're pink, though, so they probably wouldn't go with your color scheme.

    In other news... religion. Do you what you feel is right. Follow your heart, yo - it can tell you a lot. Like, a LOT a LOT. You'll get there.

    Diets. I hate them. You are you, and you are beautiful. All you've gotta do is be healthy. Everything is okay in moderation. Well, almost everything. Don't go start doing crack or anything.

    Okay Love you, by!!

  6. this video a) made me want to hug you and b) made my heart happy because i feel like you're making some serious progress in your life - from connecting to your spiritual self to your revelation about accepting the wonderful and beautiful person that you are.

    religion is a hard thing. it always has been for me, anyway. it's hard to talk about without getting slammed by people who want you to be just like them. it's also hard because i know for me, i just wish i could be like those people, but i can't. i can't just dive right into something, believe it in whole-heartedly without any doubt and questions. i'm honestly a little jealous of people who can... they have this sort of comfort in their life that seems to be a little empty in mine and i haven't decided whether it's a good thing or not. but the idea of putting a label on myself in terms of my beliefs seems ridiculous. i believe what i believe in, i don't believe in what someone else tells me to believe in.

    you'll get there. i recently watched a movie (a cheesy, romantic comedy movie. ha!) and here's a little piece that stuck out for me. (not an exact memory fails me)

    her: if you could give anyone advice, in a general sort of way, about everything in general, any sort of situation or circumstance that could help them, what would it be?
    him: to find out what they want and how to ask for it.
    her: but those are such hard things to figure out.


I love comments! Please let me know how you feel, and make sure I have a way to get back with you, so we can be friends :-)