Friday, November 23, 2012

Forget Black Friday

I have to admit, that when I woke up this morning and looked at my blog feed, I was less than excited to catch up on blogging.  Blog after blog featuring black Friday deals, and shopping guides.  Since I believe in full disclosure, I want to tell you right now that there are a few types of posts I will skip over 96% of the time:

1) Fashion posts.  I don't give a flip about what most of you think is fashionable.  If Audrey Hepburn would laugh at you if you asked her to wear it, I'm probably going to laugh at you as well.

2) "My must-have" posts.  Truth be told, I've considered doing one of these, because they're easy.  However, they bore me.  I don't need your opinion on every beauty product at Ulta.  Really, I just don't.

3) Shopping guides.  Yup, top 3 for dreaded types of posts.  I am not a good shopper.  I hate it, and thus I don't plan it, I just suck it up and go.  I know that I have a lot of friends who really enjoy Christmas shopping, and planning, and picking the "right" gifts, but that simply is not my style.  I buy my dad the same thing every year.  I almost always get my brother something from Best Buy.  My mom is tricky, but a woman, so as long as it's pretty she usually likes it.  For everyone else, I usually find things here or there, and then have a 50% shot at remembering to wrap and distribute them.  So really, your shopping guides just remind me of what Christmas failure looks like.  Maybe next year I'll try harder.

So instead, I want to talk about an industry that really deserves far more credit this time of year than what it gets.

The toilet paper industry.

If we really stop to think about it, is there really a more important invention at this time of year, except perhaps the flushing toilet?  After a nice big meal yesterday, I remembered to give thanks for the wonderful bounty of soft and strong toilet paper, and the 24 hour stores that sell it.  When I mentioned to my parents that I feel a strong love for the toilet tissue this time of year, my mom suggested black Friday be renamed brown Friday.

...Too mcuh?  I thought it was hilarious.  Because this is what my family jokes about.  We find fake farts hilarious too.  Not real ones, though.  We're 3rd grade style, that way ;-).


  1. Yeah, I find fashion posts pretty boring as well, and if the "must have" posts are beauty I'm not interested at all (if they're kitchen related then I'm all over it! - or like "basics you need in your closet..because frankly I have no basics!).

    I used to do a serious on "what I wear" which is mostly funny because i wear the same thing every day!

  2. OMG you are seriously cracking me up. You remind me of my sister with this post. She finds everything and anything vulgar to be hilarious. Especially farts and poop.

  3. Unfortunately I am guilty of all three of the things you do not like but my family calls my jokes "second grade humor"! Your blog is too cute and I am now following you!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  4. I think we all have posts that we don't like to read. I don't mind most fashion posts, except when they start listing things they're wearing like "jeans - Nordstrom, $250. necklace - J.Crew, $95. Flats, Tory Birch, $500." and it's all outrageously priced (to me, anyway!) items of clothing.

  5. I never read those posts either. I like to form my own opinions. :)

  6. This made me laugh out loud! I especially love the 50% chance of remembering to wrap and distribute--completely hit home! Newspaper becomes a favorite of mine this time of year. In the off chance that I get to the wrapping, at least I have quality paper for it!!!

    Happy to have found your blog!

  7. Hahaha, I love it! I suck at Christmas shopping - it's bad. I'm actually surprised, because we already have almost all of ours done!

  8. Black Friday is not my thing. the sales just aren't worth it to me. my family usually makes each other gifts anyways.

  9. Hahaha!! And yes, I agree so much with you! I HATE those posts and I've been skipping over every single one!

  10. bahahahaha. in my house we find real farts hilarious. =) i did hit up a target on sunday, but that's as close as i got with black friday. but that could have been because i was in a wedding this weekend.... and black friday found me getting a mani/pedi. and it was fantastic!


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