Monday, November 19, 2012

Target makes me happy

Yesterday, more than one of us admitted to channeling The Unhappy Woman monster at our loved ones.  I love that all of you were honest enough to share my pain, and laugh with me about our shared neurosis. Thank you.

Today, I want to share some hope with you.  We can deal with this, ladies.  I'm calling it "The Christmas Cheer pain reliever".

Step one:  Grab that man that makes you crazy, and drag his filthy self to the motherland, aka Target.  Make a beeline for the Christmas section.

Step two:  Make him go through every single aisle with you as you ooh and ahh over every single little thing you see.  Maybe even take some pictures of the things that make you happy.

This was our favorite aisle.  We spent 5 minutes considering candy cane flavors.

Pretty, classy ornaments.

Stunning Christmas cards.  I was bummed that they were $15/box.  So instead, we bought a box of 32 cards for $4.  Boom.

Step three:  Walk out happy as a clam that you got target time, and you got to do so with your suffering lover.

Step four:  Walk into your still messy house, and pour yourself a yummy beverage, preferably wine (if you care to partake).  While this glass is red, I recommend white wine.  It doesn't stain as much.

Check out that laundry basket full of clothes.  Classy.
Step five:  Now this part is the big key.  Start figuring out how to hire a housekeeper to come clean the house a couple of times a month.  I'm figuring that to clean our 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment shouldn't take more than 45 minutes for a professional... so maybe $35 per cleaning???  I'm starting to be able to justify that expense at the sake of my continued sanity.

It isn't a permanent cure.  And I'm going to have to repeat many times, but that's what box wine is for.  Ammon's promised me that when I get pregnant, I also get to hire a housekeeper to come in a few times a month (we all know I'm going to need it, since I'm going to be drinking grape juice instead).  I think that's really the cure.  Can we all admit that the best present we could ever get is to have a person hire us a house cleaner?

Hint, hint, boys.


  1. My husband would love to peruse the Christmas section at Target. He's the Christmas king. I have contemplated hiring help. A few of my stay at home friends have help bc they would rather spend time with their kids than doing the house. I need to figure out how to work it into the budget! And not tell John. He would NEVER go for it.

  2. I agree with everything! We call it the winter wonderland, which we ALWAYS walk through without fail just to boost our spirits a bit :)

  3. I just died that you refer to Target as the Motherland. Died. I love Target but it's impossible for me to leave there without spending $100, so I try to stay away.

    Um.... I'll come clean for you. I kind of love cleaning other people's houses. But the commute from CT to CO would really be a bitch.


  4. Target really is the Motherland and the best way to spend time with someone you love! lol Also, I've really been giving some hard thought to paying someone to clean my TINY studio cottage. I think it would be like $25 which is really hard not to jump on! This post made me laugh. You always make me laugh. So glad we are becoming friends!

  5. I need a house cleaner too!! I always see those deals on Groupon that's like $50 for 2 man hours of house cleaning and always think hmmmm I want that!

    Target makes me happy too, I call it my happy place :-)

  6. They say revenge is sweet. Walmart would have been more torture specifically a shower curtain isle.

  7. I thought you were going to tell us to drag our men to the bedroom and I was like, "WHOA let's keep it G-rated..." Then I realized that I was the one over here with my mind in the gutter.

    In other news, we were just talking about how we need a maid. Although it IS already almost Wednesday and the house has stayed pretty clean. This is a victory. Normally it's a disaster by now.

  8. Hahaha, yes. Yes to all of this.

    I went to Target on my lunch break yesterday.

    I think I'm going to do it again today.

    No shame.


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