Tuesday, September 10, 2013

You can be my hero

Do you ever get the sense that if things did not play out to the exactitude that they did, that nothing in your current life would be at all the same?  That every moment of pain and sadness has a perfect reason that only plays out in the future?  My life has many of those twists and turns of fate, where if things had gone a different way, I don't know that I would be in this place right now, with a cat sitting at the window, my husband sitting next to me, and a Korean drama on TV.  Today's Blogtember challenge was to write about one of those turns.

It was May 2009, and I had been dating Ryan for about 6 months.  We were contemplating moving in together at the end of July or August, and so we were looking for a place to live down in the Boulder area where I was living at the time.  I had scheduled several apartment showings for us that day.  I met Ryan at his place so we could go look at the places.  Suddenly, we were fighting.  I couldn't tell you what it was about, just that we were fighting again.  We fought a lot, and not in a good, healthy way.  Our fights crossed line after line after line.  Screaming, name calling, threatening break-ups, barricading doors, and physical restraint were all parts of our typical fights.  Each of us had our faults, and each of us did things that we shouldn't.  But that day, I just couldn't do it anymore.  I couldn't handle feeling that way, being trapped, having to physically push my way out of a situation that got too intense.  And after 2 hours of the most intense arguing of my life, it was done.  Over.  I was able to walk away from the single most destructive relationship of my life.  I felt so broken, so not myself anymore.  I felt lost.  I called my mom and met her at Costco, where I cried for about an hour as we walked down the aisles.  Then I went home with her and cried some more.  I don't know that I can explain or understand just what it was that I was crying over, just that I felt like I was failing miserably at everything I touched.
As a result of that break-up, I started spending more time with some of my work friends.  One of those friends invited me to go up to Fort Collins with her a couple of weeks later.  That night, I met Brad.  Brad and I hit it off right away, and just like that, I was dating again.  I started spending more and more time in Fort Collins, and quickly discovered a love for this city that I previously knew little to nothing about.  Brad encouraged me to consider finding a job and place to live in Fort Collins.  I absolutely agreed.  I was ready for a change, for a fresh start after my last relationship, and moving sounded like a great way to do just that.  But a rebound is a rebound, and only weeks after finding a new job, Brad and I decided to part ways.

It didn't matter though, because a week or so after that, a boy in the warehouse caught my eye.  We started flirting... and then on November 1, 2009, 6 short months after the hardest day of my life to date, I had dinner at Chipotle for the first time with my future husband.  If I would have known back that fateful day in May how my life would turn out, I doubt that I would have cried nearly so hard.  What seemed at the time to be my greatest failure quickly became the doorway that has led to my greatest achievement... marrying a wonderful man who always loves and supports me.  I am so thankful that this great guy who reminded me of Clark Kent when I first met him, chose to be my hero.


8 comments:

  1. Clark Kent. I can't handle you two. I love it.

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  2. The intro is genius. And so relatable. "Do you ever get the sense that if things did not play out to the exactitude that they did, that nothing in your current life would be at all the same?" I love it, and I was thinking about this phenomenon yesterday on my way home from work, wishing I could think of one little linchpin moment around which the rest of my life, from that moment on, has revolved. If I've got one, I guess it's this: my husband and I got together through Facebook, but neither of us can remember who added who, or when. We just remember that we knew OF one another, had lots of acquaintances in common, and were somehow online "friends," for years and years and years, before we ever spoke a word. If one of us hadn't made that mysterious decision to add the other, 5+ years ago, despite knowing very little about him/her, then who knows where we'd be. Great post.

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  3. What a beautiful story. I am glad that it has a happy ending. I am visiting from Blogtember!

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  4. I love this and soooo totally know how you feel. Someday we should compare stories :). I'm so glad you took the leap of faith and it was worth it!!

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  5. Ugh, the first story, it made my heart sink, my friend how thankful I am that you found your way out and have that magic kind of love I dream of:)

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  6. Wow!! That is such a huge change in your life in such a short amount of time! It's crazy how things can happen that way!

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  7. I don't think I ever knew how you two met! I loved reading this! I have quite the heart wrenching post Eric stories (and even during the first part of dating Eric) that still take my breath away at times. I'm so glad we ended up with the perfect men for us! The ones worth fighting for, not with ;)

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  8. I. love. this. So amazing. My story of meeting James is freaky similar, too. I'm so grateful for those awful break ups I thought were the end of the world.

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