My dad and I have had a running joke for as long as I can remember about the 8,561,348 things that I need therapy for. I blame it all on him, so that he will foot the bill someday. We both know we're joking-ish. But looking back on the list, I wonder how much is actually joking, and how much is real? Today I'm sharing with you a few gems from over the years.
1) When my brother and I were really little, my parents decided to do a Goose for Christmas dinner. It was the first Christmas we spent in CO, I think. My brother was only 3 at the time, and every time we would see a flock of Geese overhead, my dad would shout out, "Look, it's Christmas dinner! Bang Bang (while pretending to shoot the geese with a shotgun)". My brother quickly caught on, and did this until he was 5 or 6.
2) My parents would buy a side of beef every couple of years to put in the freezer. They always named the beef. Then, when my dad started hunting more, they started naming the ducks, geese, and other birdies. Now that he hunts Pheasant pretty much exclusively, we're spared the naming of our dinner.
3) When you train hunting dogs, you have to get them used to the sound of a gun firing, so that they don't get gun-shy. When my dad first started training hunting dogs, he was informed that the best practice was to use a starter pistol around your dogs on a regular basis. So for 3-6 months, my morning alarm was a starter pistol going off inside our house. I was forever grateful when my dad started working with a professional trainer who told him that was totally unnecessary.
|Their most recent hunting dog, Shasta, as a puppy. Photo by Erika Christensen|
4) My dad does an impression of Angela Landsbury singing "Beauty and the Beast". He used to get a huge kick out of doing it at Disneyland. Loudly. Yes, hilarious. But when 50 strangers turn to stare at your group, pretty embarrassing too.
5) He used to pretend to blow his nose loudly in his dinner napkin, then hand it to my brother and I for proper disposal. Also funny, but simultaneously disgusting.
6) My dad's love for "Will & Grace". He just loves that show. Yes, as in present tense. He still makes reference to it. My dad loves Jack to pieces.
There are so many other things I have claimed the need for therapy for over the years. I just can't remember them all. But this is a pretty standard list of the things we bring up whenever discussing the number of years I will be in therapy. At last count we were over 50 years?
Do you and your family joke about all of the psychological harm they have caused you? Or are we just twisted individuals who aren't nearly as funny as we believe ourselves to be? Have an okay Monday, friends. You can make it through. I believe in you.