Monday, February 4, 2013

Things I probably need therapy over

My dad and I have the same sense of humor.  We think we're hilarious.  My mom does not share our sense of humor.  She usually just rolls her eyes at my dad and I.  But really, we're hilarious.

 He took this picture over the summer, and it cracks me up.  Plus, I just want you all to see how talented the guy is.

My dad and I have had a running joke for as long as I can remember about the 8,561,348 things that I need therapy for.  I blame it all on him, so that he will foot the bill someday.  We both know we're joking-ish.  But looking back on the list, I wonder how much is actually joking, and how much is real?  Today I'm sharing with you a few gems from over the years.

1)  When my brother and I were really little, my parents decided to do a Goose for Christmas dinner.  It was the first Christmas we spent in CO, I think.  My brother was only 3 at the time, and every time we would see a flock of Geese overhead, my dad would shout out, "Look, it's Christmas dinner!  Bang Bang (while pretending to shoot the geese with a shotgun)".  My brother quickly caught on, and did this until he was 5 or 6.

2)  My parents would buy a side of beef every couple of years to put in the freezer.  They always named the beef.  Then, when my dad started hunting more, they started naming the ducks, geese, and other birdies.  Now that he hunts Pheasant pretty much exclusively, we're spared the naming of our dinner.

3)  When you train hunting dogs, you have to get them used to the sound of a gun firing, so that they don't get gun-shy.  When my dad first started training hunting dogs, he was informed that the best practice was to use a starter pistol around your dogs on a regular basis.  So for 3-6 months, my morning alarm was a starter pistol going off inside our house.  I was forever grateful when my dad started working with a professional trainer who told him that was totally unnecessary.

Their most recent hunting dog, Shasta, as a puppy.  Photo by Erika Christensen

4)  My dad does an impression of Angela Landsbury singing "Beauty and the Beast".  He used to get a huge kick out of doing it at Disneyland.  Loudly.  Yes, hilarious.  But when 50 strangers turn to stare at your group, pretty embarrassing too.

5)  He used to pretend to blow his nose loudly in his dinner napkin, then hand it to my brother and I for proper disposal.  Also funny, but simultaneously disgusting.

6)  My dad's love for "Will & Grace".  He just loves that show.  Yes, as in present tense.  He still makes reference to it.  My dad loves Jack to pieces.

There are so many other things I have claimed the need for therapy for over the years.  I just can't remember them all.  But this is a pretty standard list of the things we bring up whenever discussing the number of years I will be in therapy.  At last count we were over 50 years?

Do you and your family joke about all of the psychological harm they have caused you?  Or are we just twisted individuals who aren't nearly as funny as we believe ourselves to be?  Have an okay Monday, friends.  You can make it through.  I believe in you.


  1. This is hilarious! Pretty please talk him into doing a vlog of that song!

  2. Haha I love the gun firing and then a professional just being like "yeah, nope...not necessary." So perfect.

    Unfortunately, I definitely could not make those jokes about all my needs for trauma therapy from them because my mom is super sensitive and she'd feel absolutely awful, even if we were just joking!

  3. I usually get secondhand embarrassment, but I would love to hear your dad sing that song. And then we can all watch Will & Grace together, because that show is amazing.

    My brothers told me that I was adopted, and that my parents found me living in an old dryer at the dump. I believed them, those bastards.

  4. Hey Kristen, thank you for your answer on my honesty post. It's weird huh? Well firstly my Mom always tells me that she will pay for the first 3 therapy sessions for me if I really wanted to go over the crap that has gone on!! =P

    I wonder what that eagle is yelling at the other eagle about...=P That's hilarious that your father still jokes about Will & Grace. That show was epic. The beef naming thing is weird, not going to lie. That would freak me out and I'd probably be a vegetarian... =)

    I hope you have a great Monday!!

    Ergo - Blog

  5. bahahahaha - this is awesome. And confirms that we must seriously be related. Because my parents.... yea, kind of the same. No starter guns in the house... but remember that post I did about my dad scraping my vomit off my dinner plate & expecting me to continue eating? Perhaps we should go to therapy together....

  6. You are correct that the eagle picture is laugh-out-loud funny. You could make so many memes from that one!
    And yes....all families cause some kinda crazy to develop (Dad jokes are definitely a leading cause of therapy).

  7. When I was growing up, my dad would sing about our family dog ALL THE TIME. Even when I had friends over. It was SO embarrassing and so memorable to my friends that my maid of honor even mentioned it in her speech on my wedding day.

    Oddly enough, I now sing about my dogs all the time. And yes, it's embarrassing.

  8. my dad is a recovering meth addict/alcoholic. you wouldn't believe the jokes we get out of that. While simultaniously still suffering from repercussions.

    I would like to think that anyone who has lived a life worth living would need a little therapy before it's over.

  9. Naming dinner is not ok.

    But that hunting pup? ADORABLE. Besides the animal it's mouth - not so cute in my book.

  10. lol your dad sounds so funny! the hunting puppy is super adorable, and the picture of the Eagles "laughing" is hysterical!

  11. That gun/alarm experience would scar me for life!!! And my pops and I are the same way but my mom thinks we need therapy for what we find hilarious:) great stories Kristen!


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