No, really. I do.
I started this season with so many aspirations of decorating, having Christmas cheer, wearing sweaters, baking cookies, et cetera.
Well, I'm here today to admit that as of this time, we have no Christmas decorations up. No tree, no Christmas village, no wreath on the door.
I have not baked a single cookie, my single most favorite of all things to do at Christmas.
I have tolerated Christmas music well this year. I don't want to scratch my eyes out when I hear it, and that is a bigger accomplishment than you will ever know.
I have worn Holiday sweaters with pride, so I suppose that instead of decorating my apartment, I'm decorating myself. Almost as good? Perhaps.
But I ponder our tree from last year, our perfect little Charlie Brown tree, and I yearn to put out all of the effort. My soul longs to have a perfectly decorated house, perfumed with the scents of Christmas tree and freshly baked cookies.
Yes... it was an ugly, scrawny tree. But Ammon and I cut it down ourselves in the state forest last year as part of the forest fire prevention program. That forest burned down completely over the summer in all of the fires. This year, we'll have a too-perfect tree that we buy from a lot, and I feel very sad about that. It was such an experience to tramp around in over a foot of snow, seeking out the ideal tree.
Perhaps on Thursday evening, after our carpets have been cleaned, and we are both done with finals, we will take a few hours to buy and decorate a tree. Maybe I'll even muster the motivation to throw together a few cookies.
Have you crossed off a lot of items on your "must do this Christmas" list? Are you shaming me for not having put up a tree yet (I am, it's totally okay).