Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I need this

Has anyone else noticed that nobody seems terribly interested in keeping up with the blogging community this summer?  I include myself in the collective "nobody".  It is really hard to be an engaged blogger, a contributor to this community this summer, through writing a blog post, google chats, email threads, and genuine commenting.  It feels hard.  It feels more time consuming than normal.  It isn't as enjoyable as it normally would be.

I don't remember feeling this way last summer.  I remember being full to bursting with things to say, though when I look through my old posts, I don't necessarily see the proof of that in my writing.  I see it in the fullness of my email inbox this time last year, in how many emails were comments on things I had written, and how many were responses to comments that I had left.  So many little conversations that inspired some of my favorite blog posts.  And maybe that's part of the lack of blog inspiration I've been feeling lately:  I'm disengaged from the people who teased those sparks of creativity out of my brain.  I haven't been talking about how I think it's funny that male birds are flashy and female birds are drab.  I'm not planning on infiltrating any polygamist strongholds with anybody.  I'm not doing my best to support and uphold the people I hold dear, and my commenting skills have been really lacking lately.

For these things, I humbly apologize.  I want to be the engaged, enthusiastic, friendly blogger that I once was.  I want to feel like we are making real connections and drawing near to each other as a community.  And I promise, I am going to put more effort into making this a reality again.  The truth is, I need all of you, and I need this space.  I go through a lot of life feeling isolated, alone, misunderstood.  Without this community, I have a hard time feeling normal.  That in and of itself might make me strange... I mean, who can't make friends in the real world???  Apparently, me.  Well, at least not the kind of friendships where I feel like I can talk about all of the stuff I'm into and interested in, without feeling like people are looking at me as though I have another set of eyeballs growing out of my forehead.

So please, please accept my apologies, and forgive me my awkwardness as I try to pull myself back together in the blogging realm.  It's probably gonna be ugly for a bit, but I really hope that at the end of this leg of the journey, I can feel like I have reconnected with you again.

8 comments:

  1. Well, shoot, everyone has feelings like this once in a while. Did you read my post yesterday?!?! I'm looking forward to what you have to blog about next.

    Flashy male birds and polygamists, maybe?

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  2. I accept :)

    I have been horrible at blogging lately. I apologize also!

    XO Lourdes

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  3. Wait... but I thought the eyes in your forehead were part of your charm!! hehe jk. :)

    I too have been trying to make more of an effort to actually comment and interact and make the effort. Some days I'm just so tired, though. It's all good, lady, we'll all be here and support you in our mutual weirdness. :) xo

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  4. Girl, it is ok. I've been the EXACT same way this summer. Plus, you just got married! Sometimes you have to focus on more important things :)

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  5. I sooo feel ya. I've been the same way all summer! Hopefully I can get myself together soon.
    ....And I accept the apology and offer one of my own ;)

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  6. It reminds me of weekends where everyone is inactive, but that's good because that means we are outside doing stuff right:)

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  7. I have noticed that. I read on another blog that July is always a "bad blogging" month. Everyone is on vacation, school is about to start again and it's just not a time when people are on the internet. However, I am trying to be a better blogger as well. I need to start commenting, reading and writing more!

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  8. Agreed, agreed, agreed! I feel like I've been in a funk for the past year & I just can't get back in the swing of things. So then I think maybe I should stop blogging, but I really don't want to. It's a not so fun place to be & I don't like it! Hope we can both get our mojo back!

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I love comments! Please let me know how you feel, and make sure I have a way to get back with you, so we can be friends :-)