I don't have much for you today. To be entirely honest, I'm still not really in a great place mentally or emotionally. I'm trying, though, really hard. Actually allowing myself to feel things, which is something that I have a really hard time with. Ergo, being numb about my scooter being stolen when it first happened Friday afternoon. Through all of this junk, there has been one really motivating speech, and several important thoughts that have run through my mind that have helped me keep moving forward. I thought that I would share them with you today, in hopes that if any off you are struggling with junk, they will help you too.
First and foremost, this TED talk. Even if today is the best day of your life. Just watch this one. It will change your world in a big, powerful, awesome way. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit, but I had never heard of Diana Nyad until she joined this cast of Dancing with the Stars (because I live under a rock). That doesn't matter to me though, because she pretty much instantly became my heroes. What a dang life. Really.
- On my long run on Sunday (before I listened to the above TED talk), I was really bummed that my pace was so slow, the slowest pace of all of my training runs yet this training cycle. Suddenly, somewhere around mile 4.5, it dawned on me that I treat each and every week of training like it's the finish line of a race, and that if I don't show "xyz" results, I have failed. Reality is, this is one looooooooooong race we're all running called life, and that we all only cross that finish line one time. And that means that there are hundreds and even thousands of good and bad runs, rides, swims, walks, etc that are going to be represented in that race. Sometimes, a little segment in a race is harder than others. That doesn't necessarily determine the eventual outcome, just your state of being in that moment.
- Bargaining. I have been mastering the self-bargaining as of late. Currently, the bargain is that so long as I don't stress eat this week, on Friday I can have beer when we go out with our friends. And if I do all of my workouts this week, including my long run in full, I can eat "all the things" (not actually all the things, but many of the things) after my long run.
- Working out is cheaper than therapy, more effective than drugs. Yesterday was not a good day for me. I started my period, I was overly emotional for no good reason, I couldn't focus, I felt feverish, and then the rental property we toured was beyond awful. I forced myself to take a walk in the middle of my work day, because I was afraid that I was going to start sobbing for no reason at my computer. After work, I could hardly budge from the couch, and I broke my rule about only watching Scandal when I'm on the treadmill. However, the bargaining did pay off, and I was able to talk myself into doing "just 3 miles". I had 45 minutes on the schedule, and honestly, that felt impossible. But 3 miles felt like something I could do. And that is exactly what I did. For the first time in well over 6 months, I cranked some music on my phone, and I ran. When I was done running, I felt better than I had in days, simply because I had the chance to get out of my own head for a little while.
- Last, when in doubt, cuddle an animal or two. Beckham and Gunner tend to flank me for simultaneous cuddles when I feel less than awesome, and it's the best thing in the world. I dare you to hate everything when you have a sweet puppy on one side of you, and a soft kitty on the other.
And call your favorite frenemy and require that they sing you Soft Kitty, just like Sheldon does to Penny all the time. There is something magical about having someone sing you soft kitty while you pet a soft kitty.
Hopefully, none of you actually need any of this, because you are having the best weeks ever!