Yesterday, I came to a realization that really startled me. I realized that I am starting to have a degree of acceptance regarding our big move.
**Gasp** Could it really be? Can I be starting to come to terms with everything, and be able to see some of the good in this change? It's probably too soon to tell with any surety, but so far, survey says yes. For the last two days, I have felt little flutters in m stomach when I think about our move. I'm not so bold as to call them excited flutters, that would be too much. But the lead weight that had taken up residence in my belly has been replaced by something much lighter, and much more active. It kind of feels good.
What made everything change? I started looking at jobs. Not seriously, and not with the level of intensity I think a proper job hunt deserves. But I put my toes in the water, and applied for a couple of jobs. And people, there has already been responses! I sent out 2 resumes on Tuesday, and yesterday I got a call on one of them. The HR rep seemed to like me, so we'll see about that. And then this morning, I saw that the management company we will be renting through had a job opening. It was written specifically for me. They might as well have written "We need you, Kristen. Come be with us" in the job description, it's just that darn perfect. And that's what I told our property manager, who encouraged me to apply, and promised to put in a good word for me.
Did I mention that I am set on making this property manager my new friend? Because from the moment I met her, I decided she's my newest best friend. I told her that today, and she laughed. I'm not sure if she laughed because she wants to be friends too, or if she thought I was joking, or both. Clearly, my social awkwardness knows no bounds. But for the record, I was not joking.
Even if none of these job opportunities pans out, I think I just needed the reassurance that people out there see me as a contender for jobs. I have worked really hard over the last several years to get to a good place professionally, and it's nice to see that recognized.
Just don't go around telling people I'm happy about this move yet... I'm getting there - slowly.