Sunday, April 24, 2016

Why can't we be friends?

 I've been struggling a lot with making friends here.  Oof.  That was a hard start to this blog post, but it is true, and I don't know any other way to start this off.  It hasn't been a small struggle, it's been a huge struggle.  I knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect it to be this hard.

When I was 18, I moved over 1,000 miles away to go to college, and I knew nobody.  It was easy to meet new people, because when you're in college, you have to go out and interact with the rest of the world.  There are classes, on-campus jobs, clubs, activities, parties, dorms, and more that are all pushing you to meet new people and make friends.  Back then, meeting people was easy, but making friends was harder.  I ended up making some amazing friends, people I still adore to this day.  But it wasn't without its challenges.

Then I moved back home after college, after meeting some of the greatest people a girl could ever be blessed to meet.  And it was hard-ish to meet new friends, but not impossible.  After all, I had grown up there - I still had friends, and those people had new friends that I became friends with.  It's how I met one of my favorite best friends on the planet, in fact.

And I also started working at a furniture store that changed my life forever by bringing love and friendship with it.

And naturally, I continued to build on friendships as Ammon's and my relationship grew, as we changed jobs, started school, etc.  We built a great network of people, and as I look back on it, it was remarkably easy.  We were surrounded by some the genuinely best people I have ever met.

When we moved here, I expected that the same thing would happen, and for Ammon at least, it kind of did.  He has 2 fantastic co-workers.  They're awesome, and we love to hang out with them.  But I haven't been nearly as lucky.  I've really struggled with friends.  I've struggled with myself.  I've struggled with being ready to put down roots here, because when I do, it means that this isn't just an extended vacation, it's our lives, and they're now being lived out in CA.  Far away from those fantastic people who I have relied on so much over the years to bring me out of my introversion, and far away from the fun.

So where does that leave me?  Well, I joined a website that helps you make friends.  So basically, it's online friend-dating.  I mean, I think we're all pretty clear that finding love and friends online works... Blogging has brought me several friendships, and so many people I know met the loves of their lives online.  So maybe. just maybe, I can use this tool to find some friends out here too, not just all of you incredible people from all over the world.  Last night I got to meet up with 2 ladies who use the same website that I'm currently on.  We went to a winery that was doing a concert, and it was pretty fun.  There was definitely some awkwardness, and it was hard to talk too much over the music, but it was a good first start.

Am I convinced yet that this is going o find me the friends of my dreams?  No, it probably won't.  Honestly, at this point it's just about getting me out and engaged in society again.  Trying something new, and getting (far) outside of my comfort zone.  But I wouldn't hate it if I found a new friend or two in the process.

Where do you meet friends?

Is it easy for you to make friends?


  1. I'm so proud of you for doing that! Making friends is HARD. I've been really struggling with it ever since I quit my job.

  2. I NEED TO DO THIS. I'm pretty lucky actually in the fact that I became friends with all of Landon's friends before we ever started dating because they all moved in across the hall from my roommates and me. And I'm really close with their wives and stuff, BUT, none of them live up in Heber and Midway anymore. So we only get to see them when we have birthday parties and stuff. Which, is like once a month or so. But I literally have one legitimate friend here in Midway. And I never see her because she is in nursing school and has a baby. Making friends as an adult is HARD and I need to take one after you and actually put forth an effort to make some. Way to go! <3

  3. This is awesome!

    I'm with you, I really struggle to make friends and part of that is I'm kind of an all or nothing kind of person. Like I don't want to just casually chat about our day, but to immediately start talking about periods, deep dark secrets, and hopes and dreams.

  4. This is something that's been totally weighing me down lately. I don't know if it's possible to make new friends in the south outside of church, but I need to find a way. I've had a total loss of self since becoming a mom and moving to a new city, and I feel it chipping, chipping, chipping away at the part of me that craves social environment. When is Apple going to create an iTransport app that can instantly bring all of my friends together in one state?


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