Just say the first thing

After a lot of thought, deliberation, and having not blogged for 3 of the last 4 days, I have decided that today we'll play word association.  I have a lot of things to say, but very few good ways to express my thoughts and feelings right now.  So let's give it a whirl, shall we?

Blogging:  Conflicted.  I know that the things I am conflicted about are normal... when to blog, how much to blog, should I grow the blog, should I let the blog do its own thing, am I even worthy of having this space?  All questions that tumble through my head when I think about that word. 

I do a lot of that comparison stuff when I think about my blog.  I see the people who started after I did who have 900+ followers.  I see that there are bloggers who make almost as much money with part-time blogging as they do a their full-time job.  That isn't necessarily what I want.  To tell the truth, I don't know what I want.  This blog has had an identity crisis since day one.

Money:  Cringe.  We are doing things to change our situation, but they are slow going.  It's hard when two people are trying to make it on an income equivalent to 50% of the area median income for their size household.  This isn't to say that we want your pity, it's just really hard.  I am counting down the days until Ammon is working full time, and we can actually put together a plan that will move us in the direction of a brighter tomorrow.

Diet:  Frustrated.  I have done a great job of sticking with my diet since January 2nd, and have seen few results.  It's the homeostasis thing that my body does.  The "no, I'm good" reflex whenever I try to lose weight.  But I'm not going to give up.  I'm not going to give in.  I will work hard, and that hard work is going to pay off.

People:  Exhausting.  I am an introverted extrovert.  I don't mind being around people, so long as I get a good amount of me time in there too.  Lately, the scales have been unfairly weighted towards higher than average human interaction.  I would really love to go crawl into a cave for 3 days.  It would help me pretend to like people on a more regular basis.

And I think we're good.  There are more word associations I could add, but I'm desperately trying to not crave ice cream right now, and that's a pretty pressing concern for me.  What would your word association look like right now?