Thanks, boys

I promised you guys a funny as heck story about beans.  I am really happy to deliver on that promise today.  What more can you ask for on a Thursday, am I right?

Friday night we made the good decision to eat barbecue while Crazy Kristen started her spiral into greatness.

When we got there, the only seats available were at the bar.  We were just fine with that, because we wanted to be closest to the booze.  There were a bunch of guys sitting at the bar.  There were the 3 that were clearly toolbags, and the one guy who always looks lonely and awkward while he plays tetris on his cell phone and drinks beer.  Somehow, awkward tetris dude ended up sitting between the toolbags, and our joyous gathering.

The dudes hailed us right away, in typical dude fashion.  We kind of ignored them, and I think it annoyed them.  They wanted to shoot tequila with us, and the other girls would have none of that.  I am all about talking with ANYONE when I'm out to have  a good time, so I decided to bite the bullet and chat up "the dudes", who claimed they were out for a bachelor party.  I will skip cheat days for 2 weeks if that's actually true.  For real.

Emily kept telling me to "ignore those dudes, they're just messing with us."  Yes, I know, Emily.  It's flipping funny.  Do you really think I'm buying their line?

The next thing I know, a waitress is bringing by three little side cups.  Side cups full of baked beans.  She sets one down in front of each of us, and tells us that they are compliments of the gentlemen at the end of the bar... aka, "the dudes."

Crazy Kristen had already had quite a bit to drink by that point, and she was also STARVING.  So not only was she super happy to see some free beans, she laughed about this ish for 2 minutes straight, because it's obviously hilarious to get sides of beans at a bar.  No kidding, and no lies... 2 minutes.  The dudes thought that Crazy Kristen was an idiot at this point, which is pretty much her M.O.  If people think you're dumb, you can get away with all kinds of stuff.  They then encourage Crazy Kristen to Instagram it.  And you'd better believe, I opened Instagram that very second, showed the guys the open app, and dutifully did what the dudes requested (sorry to those of you who got to experience that gem in real time).  I then thanked them for the extra fiber, and dug right on in.

... Did I mention that to my left, Emily was yelling about the injustices of being messed with?  Because she was.  She refused to even touch her beans.  Our ever mysterious other friend, known to you all today as "K-Swizzle", laughed, told the guys it was a well-played move, and politely sampled her beans.

This is where creepy-lonely-Tetris-playing-dude enters our scene.  Emily starts talking about "getting them back".  In my world, not taking offense to funny stuff is all the revenge I need.  But Emily clearly wanted to settle the score.  Suddenly, tetris-dude has tons of ideas.  All of which center around Apple Pucker.  I kid you not.  He told us first to send them shots of it.  Then he told us to send them appletinnis.  Then he suggested apple pucker shots again.  And again.  And again.  Homeboy seriously had a thing for the pucker, ladies.

Via

After some banter across the bar that lasted longer than expected, "the dudes" decided it was time to move on, but not before informing us where they were going.  They promised us something even more awesome and random if we followed them (they were quite unclear about what it would be).  We swore up and down the river that we'd meet them there.

And then we promptly went elsewhere.  "Ooops".  Sorry boys, find some other girls that are more fun to mess with than Crazy Kristen.  I dare you.  Because it can't be done.

Well played indeed.  Thanks for the beans, boys.  They were delicious.