Unemployed. It's a terrifying word to me, and yet, it is the exact correct phrase to describe me right now. For the first time since... Junior year of college (I think??? It's a little hazy in that time of my life), I'm without employment, and I don't know what to think, or how to feel anymore.
So far, it's been 2 weeks. The first week and a half were a piece of cake, because Ammon wasn't working either, and we were so darn busy. Then he went to work on Monday, and suddenly, reality hit that I don't have anywhere to be every day. The extent of my duties are entirely contained to housework pursuits and job hunting. It's a huge deal if I shower before 3pm, or leave the apartment for any reason other than walking the dog these days. I know I need to get out more, but why? We're trying not to needlessly spend money, and I don't know anyone, so where would I go? Ammon keeps encouraging me to go to the gym, but that sounds about as appealing as going and getting a pap smear. Not because I don't want to work out, but because I just hate the gym THAT MUCH. And it's so smoky here from the wildfires that running outside isn't advisable right now.
I really don't know how to start again out here. I am really hoping that finding a job will help me put down some roots here, because I don't have kids to use as an excuse to get out of the house, or money to spend on doing lots of fun things. Work has always been my "happy place". I find good friends at work... heck, I found my husband at work! I'm just my best person when I'm working... and so having to focus all of that energy and goodness elsewhere has been challenging. I'm pretty sure Ammon has really appreciated all of the home-made meals lately, and the fact that he hasn't had to do dishes once since we moved in. I just wish all of that was half as satisfying to me as going to work for 8 hours and contributing in that way to society is to me. Not knocking the SAHM's or the SAHW's out there. You all are incredible, and I admire you immensely, because it is no joke being so on your home all of the time. When you're there 24/7, you notice every single drip, every splatter, every spot, and to keep up with it, and any other responsibilities you have is a huge deal.
And on that note, I need to get to the grocery store pronto, because the cable guy is coming this afternoon to figure out why our internet connection is showing as being poor on their side. Guys, this is like... the most thrilling thing. I'm even wearing clean clothes, and I've showered. I might even eat lunch out instead of eating leftovers. Grocery shopping is becoming an EVENT for me, not just an errand.
Have you had a long period of unemployment before? How did it go? How did you stave off any madness?
Totally sucks, but i am sure you will find something soon. Keep your head up girly.
ReplyDeleteOh Kristen...Unemployment. Yes. I have had several LONG periods of unemployment. most notably, 2013 when I was unemployed for an ENTIRE YEAR.
ReplyDeleteThere are going to be ups and downs. I found starting a routine really helped (I went to a 9:30 am yoga class everyday) and I also found that I had to make myself have a daily project. Sometimes that daily project was finding 3 new jobs to apply for. SOmetimes it was sending in an application, and other times it was mopping the kitchen floor.
To be real: I don't think you can stave off madness. You can only learn to use it to your advantage.
xoxo