This is where I disclaim EVERYTHING. Neither of us are experts. We know that we don't know everything about parenting. We tend to have these conversations just to make sure we are on the same page in life. Self-guided premarital counseling, if you will.
Ammon is big on both parents being completely equal, and on making joint decisions. I agree, but I also think it is important for both parents to feel empowered to make decisions on their own and be supported. What we both agreed that it comes down to is having a firm parenting philosophy and guidelines established before we are in that situation.
To Ammon, this means that once we're pregnant, we'll pick a parenting philosophy to work within.
To me, this means we need to start researching now, because 9 months doesn't seem like enough time to make such a big decision. Also, hello hormones! I seriously question how good at making decisions I will be while pregnant. Unless that decision involves food, it could get dicey.
Oh, who are we kidding, I feel this way about big decisions most of the time. Food is delicious.
After explaining my position, Ammon grumbled about how researching parenting techniques is way less fun than becoming a parent. I gave him my patented glare out of the corner of my eyes. He reluctantly agreed.
So now we're THOSE people who read parenting books before they're parents. I saw that one of the polygamist families they documented on TLC did this, and I thought they were insane. Who the heck am I becoming???
So now, I just have to ask... are Ammon and I the only people in the world who have these types of conversations? Or are we less strange than we might assume?
Anything baby (except for names) is completely crossed off my conversation list. If someone even asks me when I'm planning to have babies, they get my patented glare. And sometimes a swift punch to the throat.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can promise you, I'm the only married Mormon girl like me in all of Utah.
I think it's probably better that you're having this conversation now, and not getting to the point where you're three months pregnant and then Ammon blows your mind with some crazy parenting thing you'd never agree to. Probably safer to make a decision now rather than when you actually have a baby.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, the closest Zac and I come to discussing parenting is him asking me to go hold a baby because he thinks that they're cute but is scared that if he holds them himself, he will drop and/or break them. So...we're not quite there yet haha
Michael and I talk about this all the time, and it's pretty unlikely that we will ever actually have a baby. Is it bizarre that we practice our parenting techniques on the dog? He's totally the push over parent, and I'm totally the bad cop. See also how I love to mix my metaphors.
ReplyDeleteSee also, it's easy to make decisions about food because everything is yummy.
Ryan and I talked about parenting stuff for years before we had A. It's funny though because there were little things that we thought would be our philosophy and things ended up a little differently. Sure, sometimes we butt heads but 99% of the time we take it all in stride and go day by day. I will say this - it's easy to think one way and do another once you have a baby, it rocks your world (in a good way) more than you ever imagined :)
ReplyDeleteIC and I aren't planning on having kids, but there are somethings that he says that are so NOT in my parenting philosophy that I always just say "and this is why we aren't having children" jokingly obviously.
ReplyDeleteColon and I have spoken about parenting philosophies before and we will NEED to have a serious conversation once we decide it's time for kids. He is so lax and I have a feeling that I will be bad cop. :(
ReplyDeleteXO Lourdes
We are married but don't have any kids yet and talk about this ALL THE TIME. So no, you are not the only person out there who does this!
ReplyDeleteAt least your'e prepared.
ReplyDelete